On the job

Here's another column. Keep close. I got a really good one for Valentine's Day.
Well, not that great, but pretty good. You can decide for yourself.


Man, at his very core, was meant to be something great, something definitive, something inspiring. That something is a mechanic. It's more than a job - it's a lifestyle. Living in the grease, the muck and the sludge - this is no place for a woman. It doesn't smell good. The grease doesn't exfoliate your skin as it washes your dishes. It's tough and difficult. You've got to use your brain sometimes, and that can get in the way for many women.

To take a car from diagnosis, extraction of broken bits and installation of new parts is just a process not meant for women. There's a reason why men are adept at fixing cars - if we were as bad as women at breaking cars, there'd be no one to keep cars running. While the auto industry would absolutely love this idea (because we'd all be replacing our cars every 3-5 years), the great majority of us couldn't afford the ridiculous situation we'd be in.

For some evidence in point - go in to any shop or dealership, and you'll find what? The women sit at desks and the men are half under hoods or wherever else the problem may be. I myself have worked in three different service drives and not one female mechanic have I seen. You would think that I have been exaggerating, but I'm not. There's always that one exception to the rule, right? One or two manly women who got some testosterone mixed in with their estrogen found their way into a garage, right? Wrong. It just doesn't happen. Those manly women I mentioned all showed up on American Gladiators.

I'm not trying to dissuade any women from applying for a mechanic's job. If I were a service manager, I'd consider them the same as anyone else. But I'm sure that given enough time, some male applicant would come along that would have more than enough credentials/experience to wield the giant wrench of automotive repair. It's the just the way it works. If I applied for a secretarial job or receptionist job or for a cooking position, I'm absolutely sure I wouldn't be selected over a woman. Why? I can't type fast, file efficiently or follow recipes perfectly. And that's why I don't apply for those positions.

So men, keep up the fixing, 'cause we can all be sure that women will keep up the breaking!